In my practice I see many people weekly who sincerely want to change, however they want the change to have happened already.
“I want to leave my abusive relationship, but I’m still here.”
“I want to lose weight, but the whole box of Oreos called to me last night.”
“I want to be mindful, but what was I just talking about?”
“I want to be nicer to my kids, but they continue to piss me off”
I tell my clients, just like I’m telling you now that if I had a magic wand to POOF! force the change you feel would bring a better life, I would totally use that wand for you! When people come to therapy or when they realize something they want to change, they often have unrealistic expectations that it will just happen, particularly if they keep doing the same things. I chose this quote this week to highlight how even in magical fairytales, we need to recognize the element of patience to assist us in understanding how change can happen and also how to break things down in steps for ourselves. For example, if you say “I am going to spring clean my whole house!” I bet you will not start to as easily as if you said “I am going to spring clean my flip flops.” Having constant back pains? Perhaps it’s time to stop putting off seeing the doctor and finally getting the relief you need. Find a chiropractor near me.
This week, choose something you want to change, be mindful of “buts” and other excuses and decide what would be a small first step to begin the change you want. Be patient with yourself throughout your small steps towards change and I’ll be waving my magic wand for you, cheering you on from the sidelines!